Casey, for the modern day
(with apologies to Earnest Thayer)
Based on "Casey at the Bat"
The Mudville team was struggling, make
no mistake of that.
Down four to two, as they made their
last at bat.
Eighth place hitter Cooney, grounded
out to first.
Ninth place, the pitcher due, the fans
expected the worst.
Looking over his bench, Skipper pegged
Barrows to hit,
Subbed him for the pitcher, who
couldn't hit spit.
Barrows made sense, a fresh lefty to
face a tiring arm,
Plus the stats were in his favor.
Barrows could do some harm.
There was no one in the pen, at least
when Barrows grabbed his bat.
But there was a call down there
quickly, and time called to have a chat.
The bullpen was scurrying, as play was
let to resume.
Barrows dug in, took the first pitch,
and then BOOM.
A wicked line drive hit he, chest high
and swift.
But curse befell Mudville, as he hit it
right into the shift.
The loyal fans were restless now, many
got up to go.
Skipper made a pitching change, as it
is now part of the show.
Reliever took a few warm up throws, he
was ready to attack.
But had to wait for television, for the
commercial break to come back.
Two outs, no one on, It should be an
easy save,
With the locals streaming out, their
loyalty begins to cave.
Lead off man Flynn gets up, and bunts
one down the line,
The third baseman was at short, and
couldn't get there in time.
The fleeing fans see this on the
monitors, stopping for a moment to see,
Jimmy Blake is up next, remember he had
the bad knee.
The bullpen is active again, getting
ready just in case,
Blake gets a hit, which would bring
Casey to the plate.
The Closer on the mound looks in and
sighs,'
Blake is a good hitter, but try this
cutter on for size.
The pitch comes in, a cutter it was,
but didn't break at all,
And as he has dome before, Blake tore
the cover off the ball.
The ball went into right field, easy
enough for Flynn to score,
But he mis-read the defense, got to
third, but no more.
Now it was Casey's turn, waiting for
his walk-up music to start.
He clutches his bat, and waits for his
musical cue to start.
He slowly walks behind the catcher,
head down for effect,
He looks for the tee vee camera , and
waits for his respect.
Skipper and coaches are ready for this,
and they have it planned
The consulted with the numbers, and
scouting reports were scanned.
Casey, the millionaire, who puts the
fans in the seats,
He poses and he flexes, makes folks
wonder if he cheats.
The body armor is on, shields to
protect his elbow,
Conference on the mound, let's get on
with the show.
No manager out, just the catcher and
infielders,
With gloves blocking their faces,
fearful of lip readers.
No real planning, they had one and were
ready to use.
Just giving the lefty in the pen time
to get loose.
The drama would increase, if this were
a couple of years ago
But the rules changed to speed the
game, since it got so slow.
Instead of manager instincts, knowledge
and sense,
SABRmetrics is followed, and sometimes
is dense.
Ownership buys into it, and Skip hates
to comply,
But since they are on a losing streak,
anything he will try.
He whistles to the umpire, to get Blue
to see,
He holds up four fingers, giving Casey
first for free.
Not a pitch was thrown, as Casey
received his pass,
He trotted down to first, as the local
fans began to sass...
Loading the bases with two outs, he
calls in the southpaw,
Who faces a pinch hitter, the right
handed hitting Kershaw.
Tee Vee time out again, to sell beer
during the change,
At the park, fans sat again, with the
monitors out of range.
Play is called, Kershaw clinches,
pitcher gets his sign
Pitcher sets, takes a breath, the game
is on the line...
Oh, somewhere in this fabled land, the
sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere,
somewhere hearts are light.
And somewhere folks are pounding beers,
to quench a might thirst,
Trying to figure out, exactly how,
Casey got picked off first.
